IFS Parts Work in Session: A Therapist Practical Guide
By Kristen McClure, MSW, LCSW | TherapistWorksheet.com
Internal Family Systems is one of the fastest-growing therapy models in practice — and one of the most experientially different from traditional talk therapy. If you have been trained primarily in cognitive or behavioral approaches, IFS requires a genuine shift in how you understand the mind and how you conduct sessions.
The Core IFS Model
IFS, developed by Richard Schwartz, proposes that the mind is naturally multiple — that we all have internal “parts” with their own perspectives, feelings, memories, and motivations. This is not pathology. It is how minds work. Psychological suffering arises when parts are in conflict, when parts carry burdens from past experiences, or when parts have been exiled and are trying to get attention through extreme behaviors.
The model has three categories of parts:
- Exiles — parts that carry pain, shame, or trauma, often from childhood. They have been pushed out of awareness because their experience is too intense or threatening.
- Managers — parts that try to keep the system functioning by controlling behavior, managing how the person is perceived, and preventing exiles from surfacing (perfectionism, pleasing, overworking).
- Firefighters — parts that react when exiles break through, using extreme strategies to suppress the pain quickly (substance use, self-harm, dissociation, rage).
At the center of the model is Self — not a part, but the core of who the person is. Self has qualities of curiosity, calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness. The goal of IFS is not to eliminate parts but to unburden them and help the person lead their life from Self.
IFS in Session: What It Actually Looks Like
Identifying parts
When a client talks about internal conflict — wanting to speak up but holding back, wanting to be close but pushing people away — this is parts language. “It sounds like part of you wants one thing and another part wants something different. Can you tell me more about those two?”
Getting to know a part
Rather than analyzing or resolving a part, IFS invites curiosity about it. “Can you turn your attention toward that critical part? Notice where you feel it in your body. What does it look like, or how does it show up for you? What does it want you to know?”
Checking for blending
A client is “blended” with a part when they are fully identified with it — when “I am this part” rather than “I have this part.” Before working with a part, check: “How do you feel toward that part right now?” If the answer is “I hate it” or “I’m afraid of it,” you are working with a different part. The goal is for Self to be present — which shows up as curiosity or compassion toward the part.
Unblending
When a client is blended: “Could you ask that [critical/scared/angry] part if it’s willing to give you a little space? Not to go away — just to let you get a little distance so you can see it more clearly.”
Working with exiles
Exile work — accessing and unburdening the parts carrying core pain — is the deeper work of IFS and requires adequate training. The process involves finding the exile, witnessing its experience, reparenting it, and facilitating the release of burdens it carries. Do not attempt exile work without adequate training and supervision.
IFS Language Shifts
IFS requires different language than traditional therapy:
- “I feel anxious” → “A part of me feels anxious”
- “Why do you do that?” → “What is that part trying to do for you?”
- “Your inner critic” → “The part that is critical of you”
- “Change that behavior” → “What does that part need to feel safe enough to step back?”
Frequently Asked Questions
Can IFS be integrated with other approaches?
Yes — IFS language and concepts integrate well with many approaches. Trauma therapists often integrate IFS with EMDR or somatic work. Relational therapists find that parts language illuminates interpersonal dynamics. The model is flexible enough to inform many styles of practice.
Do I need to be formally trained in IFS to use it?
For surface-level integration — parts language, curiosity about internal experience — many therapists incorporate IFS concepts without formal training. For deeper IFS work, particularly exile work and the full unburdening process, Level 1 training from the IFS Institute is recommended minimum.
What if a client is skeptical of the “parts” concept?
You do not need to use the word “parts.” “It sounds like there are two different voices in your head about this — one that wants to take the risk and one that is more cautious.” The concept is accessible even without the formal framework.
Is IFS appropriate for clients with dissociative disorders?
With care and specialized training. IFS’s parts model has interesting overlap with structural dissociation theory, but the clinical approach for dissociative disorders requires significant adaptation. Consult with specialists before applying IFS with DID or OSDD.
Kristen McClure, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist who creates practical clinical tools to help therapists navigate the hardest moments in their work.